Entitled Bitch

Womanly tip: Do not be clinically depressed if you’re married. It’s an embarrassment to your husband.

Flaws are an integral part of perfection.

Step 1: Invite relatives over
Step 2: Criticize them
Step 3: Wonder why they don’t visit more often

I only have 18 brands of toothpaste to choose from. What the fuck is this shit?

A woman followed me home honking because I paused too long at a stop sign and she was in a hurry. Once I saw a woman nudge a traffic cop with the front of her mini van because she was in a hurry. Where the fuck are all these women going?

We have been appalled by those in history who have tried to control the thoughts of others, yet people do this to one another every day, on a smaller scale, veiled by the guise of “knowing what’s best.”

My friends think it’s weird that I let my kids wear a brand of shoes that I think are ugly. I keep forgetting that, as a mother, I’m supposed to control my children’s taste. I’d better get on that.

The Post Office: A Study in Contrasts

I was waiting in line at the post office today, and a woman in front of me with a lot of packages offered to let me go ahead of her! “You have kids with you,” she said, “and this is going to take me a long time.” So sweet and kind!

Then, as we continued to wait, another woman walked past all of us in line, went up to the counter, and demanded an answer to a question. The postal clerk told her she had to wait in like everyone else, but the woman would have none of that. She was in a hurry and she wanted service now! The postal clerk pointed out that the rest of us were patiently waiting and it wasn’t fair to let her jump ahead. The woman was so mad that she demanded the name of the supervisor and threatened to report the clerk. What the hell?? What exactly is she going to report her for?